What Does It Take Part 2... A Timeline
If I am honest there was some discomfort and resistance in exploring things that I didn’t understand.
When I talked to Patti about what I wanted to change, it started to create feelings of anxiety in me. I realized all of the feelings of unworthiness I had been harboring for as long as I could remember.
I didn’t realize the perception of myself had lead to situations that didn’t serve me. I felt unworthy of a meaningful career because I didn’t have letters behind my name. I settled for long standing friendships because I kept people on pedestals that didn’t belong there. And I was feeling my marriage was in major trouble. I didn’t love myself so I couldn’t project what I needed in the world to make me happy. How could I undo what I knew for the last 40 years?
I was willing to go all in but it required work and a lot of it. Looking back I didn’t really have a plan but Patti did.
We started with Reiki. I didn’t even really know what Reiki was but I was willing try it. What I appreciated was the conversation that we had before the work started. It was hard to be vulnerable but she made me feel comfortable just by talking to me.
The space I was making for my vulnerability was creating a healing path for me.
Patti worked on opening my heart and changing my thoughts. She cut cords of attachment to my past.
I remember leaving and feeling lighter and a desire to keep feeling this way.
Meditation and Visualization
Meditation was hard for me. I found it very difficult to quiet my mind and keep my body still. But what I did have was a good imagination. My imagination helped me visualize what I wanted and helped quiet my mind and body. Later, it would set the course for my new career and anything else that I wanted.
Meditation helped with my anxiety and bring about my awareness of right now. Right now, is what I could control and that was by each and every thought. Don’t get caught up in having the perfect time or space to meditate. You can meditate in the shower, in the car or even on a walk. You just have to give yourself the time to be with yourself and to set your intention for the day.
I had heard of chanting mantra but I really didn’t know what that meant. Mantra is a sound that is repeated to aid concentration during meditation. Mantra has many variations, the one that really opened my heart was Kirtan. Kirtan is a performance concert where everyone joins in and shares recitation of the mantras. I remember my first Kirtan experience, I was a little scared. There was drumming, singing & dancing. Everyone looked genuinely elated, & they were completely sober! My energy was so elevated that I wanted to continue to feel this way every day. How would I do this? These sounds really didn’t make sense to me but I was so in love with the feeling I had when I did it. Since discovering mantra I use this in my daily meditation practice.
Change was happening
The first year of my work with Patti was intense. I was steadfastly working on myself. I let go of relationships that weren’t healthy for me and I visualized my way into a new career.
I learned to let go of thoughts of unworthiness and not only speaking my truth but actually discovering what that was. Would it surprise you to know some people didn’t want to hear my truth? That sometimes my truth made others feel uncomfortable? For so long I allowed the fears of people not understanding me or judging me stand in my way. Not anymore!
What do you do when you decide you are going to shift your perspective and it gets tough? Do you run away screaming or do you stay the course?
Continue the journey with me!
Next week I wrap up this series and share more of what happened to me when I decided I needed to make life happen for me!
For more information about Laura, check out her blog https://spiralupkc.blogspot.com/